Karen: What, and let you start yapping out at all the other maids so that they can come over and jump on the car? I don't think so. Karen: Finally, you're here! Rosario: You know, if you're gonna leave me in the limo for five hours, the least you could do is crack a window. Jack: I'd say it was the day she became a gay man and fell in love with you. Whenever she hits a real low point, she breaks out the slide projector and spends a few days trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Jack: Ohh, thank God is right! Will: You know about the slides? Jack: No, I just assumed it had something to do with her womanity, so I thought we'd just skate right past it. Bed, Bath, and Beyond Will: Thank God she hasn't broken out the slides yet. It would take you, your mom and your grandma an entire lifetime of turning tricks at the plaza to get even halfway there. You got 250 on each ear, 500 G's on the wrist, and a cold 7 on the chest. I don't know what to say, I'd say something if I weren't so speechless, but I'm speechless so I don't know what to say. I had to Heimlich it out of Rosario's stomach right before I came over here. Karen: Oh, before I forget, I just wanted to give you a little extra sparkle. Karen: Ohh, I think somebody's just mad because somebody didn't think of it first. Karen: Oh great example honey! You are so quick! Like lightning. Jack: Yeah, or like when a bartender doesn't notice his tip, you can slide it in front of you and leave it as your own. I didn't mean it like that, of course I didn't! Listen to me! I just meant that people don't like having sex with you, okay? Rules of Engagement Karen: Listen, there is nothing wrong with listening to Nathan and Grace have sex. No, honey! That just means that people like having sex with Nathan and they don't like having sex with you! Grace: I can't believe I hesitated to ask you about that. Do you think it's weird that I've had more partners but less actual sex than Nathan? Karen: No. Grace: Karen.I wanna ask you something, but it's really personal, and I'm afraid you're gonna be insensitive. Loose Lips Sink Relationships Jack: Thrilled to be here. Get off the stage! I don't want to even look at you any more. Zandra: And the other "R" is for how rotten you are. "O" is for, oh, how very bad you make me feel. ![]() Jack: How sorry am I? "S" is for how very sad you make me feel. Guard: Excuse me? Karen: I'm his bitch! Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm Stanley Walker's bitch! And I'm his one and only, just in case you pervs get any ideas during those lonely nights at lockdown- Guard: Ma'am, I just couldn't hear what you said. Prison Blues Guard: Name, please? Karen: Karen Walker. Nancy: One of my moms is gay! Elliot: Really? Nancy: Yeah, but she's not a good dancer. How did he learn to do that? Elliot: I dunno, maybe 'cause he's gay. ![]() Nancy: So, your dad got up and danced in front of everyone in our grade. So from now on, you only call tequila when you have a legal problem. Who you gonna call? Me? Tequila? Karen: What is this crazy talk? I want my vodka! Will: Exactly. You've poured yourself a thimble of tomato juice. Karen: Oh, I'm liking this story better already! Will: These are my friends: gin, vodka, and scotch. Jack: You're preaching to the choir, okay? Crouching Father, Hidden Husband Will: Let me try to explain this in terms you'll understand. Nathan: Ahh, there's nothing like hoppin' on your hog first thing in the morning and riding it 'til your butt gets tired. Past and Presents Grace: I see they're finally giving out medals for evil. Got it? So, what are we going to do now? Nathan: God, I hope it's shop. ![]() You know how sharks are eating machines? We are shopping machines. Grace: You and I, we have to stay focused. The Third Wheel Gets the Grace Karen: I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet! 24 A Buncha White Chicks Sittin' Around Talkin'.
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